Am I a people pleaser?
Oh yes! My whole life I have lived by this. If I get people to be ok with me, then I won’t be rejected. It’s not a quality that I’m proud of, but it has been part of who I am since my childhood. And it is freeing to be able to acknowledge it!
Ever since I was a child I wanted to belong. And I think we can all relate to that. However, not all of us become people pleasers. Some people find their own way, their own voice from an early age, but others, like me, just take a little longer to acknowledge ourselves enough to come out of our shells.
Being a people pleaser can be frustrating and exhausting because I’m trying to accommodate other people’s wishes and requests above my own. You might think that is altruistic of me, but it’s really not.
This can turn into always saying yes, even when I can’t or maybe don’t want to. If you are a people pleaser, I’m sure you know what I mean.
But I believe I’m learning to acknowledge those moments so I can allow God to do the real work in me.
Has this affected my relationship with God?
I really had to sit on this question. Am I coming to Him the same way that I have been coming to others? In the same level of pleasing? I realized that I have been.
As believers we have a natural inclining to want to please God. The deeper we come into a relationship with Him, the more we want to do for Him because we understand and know His character.
We understand the sacrifice He made for us, so our love overflows for Him. But only because He first loved us!
My point is, we know that we want to please Him, but is it for the right reasons? What’s the underlying motive of our desire to please Him?
There comes a point where we must dig deep and be real with ourselves and answer the tough questions. Because as the Word says: “It is the glory of God to conceal a matter, But the glory of kings is to search out a matter.” (Proverbs 25:2, NKJV)
We have to open up to God, so he can reveal the truth in our hearts.
I, for one thing, came to realize that I’ve been trying to please God out of wanting His approval.
Looking back, I realize that I have always tried to be a good daughter. Not because my parents were the strictest or because I had to prove myself to them, but because I didn’t want to cause them any trouble. I was the one being strict with myself.
I knew and still know that they love me and accept me, but for some reason I was trying not to disappointment them.
I was doing or not doing things to please them even though they were already pleased with me. So, I think I have also been doing this with God. Doing works that I consider good for His approval, trying not to disappoint Him. Has this happened to you?
How can I please God?
God knows my heart, so he doesn’t condemn me for the underlying reasons of my desire to please Him, but He does want me to bring everything back to Him, to The Light! And if there is anything that is not of Him, He will shine His light on it.
He wants us to come closer to Him and ask Him to search our hearts. Because everything we do flows from it.
When we do this, we allow God into the parts that need to be corrected, healed, or removed.
Now, how do we please God? Scripture says that “And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.” (Hebrews 11:6, NIV).
So, my faith in Him, in His word pleases Him.
My continuous pursuit of Him pleases Him when I seek Him with my whole heart. When I want to know Him and Him alone! It’s not about what He can do for me, but about Him!
I know I please Him when I do His commands; when I’m obedient to His word. When I move by His Spirit, trusting in Him. He is pleased with my worship! He is pleased with my thanksgiving! He is pleased with me!
Feel free to replace that with your name, to make it your own, because I’m sure He is also pleased with you!
Can we please people and God at the same time?
For this, I go back to the Word, and it says that we cannot serve two masters (Matthew 6:24). In this verse, Jesus is talking about serving Him or money, but I believe that it can also apply to people.
We cannot put both people and God on a pedestal, in the end, one is going to fall. In these instances, our hearts go to and from, trying to please one or the other. That is exhausting! And come to think about it, when we try to please people, we are making them our idol and setting God aside.
And like Paul said in Galatians 1:10 “If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
I’m learning to let go and know that I no longer need to try to please God for approval because I’m already approved by Him. I want to be more aware of my works and actions for Him because I want to be able to come to Him with a pure heart.
So let’s examine our hearts, not without the Holy Spirit, and answer this: Who is my master?
What are your thoughts on this? I would love to read them.
