Negativity: What Are You Feeding Your Heart?

Did you know that we are hardwired to be negatively bias? I was reading about negativity the other day and there are extensive studies that show that as humans we tend to remember and notice negative things more than the positive ones.

There was one study that showed that when presented with an opportunity to win $150 or to lose $100, people will most likely choose not to participate because the negative impact of losing is greater. Interesting, right?

To be honest, I had never considered myself to be super optimistic, but I didn’t think I was negatively biased either, until recently.

I thought that my way of thinking was just caution or even “wisdom.” But is it really? Or is it just a protection I have been using for years to not allow others in or to not allow myself from experiencing new things? The answer to the latter is yes. I have created a box in my mind that has not allowed me to explore or just do. Has that happened to you?

I don’t know about you, but I never thought that I was seeing life through a negative lens until my husband pointed it out, time and time again, and I would just brush it off because I felt it was just my opinion and not a mindset. But the other day, as we were having a conversation, he pointed it out again, and sure enough, I was not happy about it. I had to go to a different room and talk to God.

The funny thing is that the Lord already had a message prepared for me.

You see, I’ve been reading Matthew for the past 2 months, on and off, but I’ve been faithful to come back; anyway, as soon as I opened where I had left off, the Holy Spirit highlighted this verse:

“For out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.” (Matthew 12:34)

I couldn’t go pass that. I knew what the Holy Spirit was doing, so I zoomed in and asked: Am I really that negative, Lord? “Well, yes.” The Lord doesn’t beat around the bush, He won’t sugarcoat things, but He will be gentle enough to the point of conviction.

How did I become this way? I asked. And he pointed me to the next verse:

“A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good things, and an evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth evil things.” (Matthew 12:35)

It’s clear that this has to do with the condition of my heart and what I have been treasuring and meditating on continually for years. Unconsciously, I’ve been storing up things that have served as a filter to my opinions, decisions, and views. These things have clouded the truth.

I have allowed my insecurities, doubts and experiences of rejection and hurt to form walls around my heart, so whenever something unknown or even different comes along, I shut it down with a “NO.”

Yes, I have been my own defender all this time, which made me realize that I have not allowed myself to properly heal from some of my not-so-good experiences because I have not let go. I have given them a name. I’ve called them “wisdom,” “caution,” and “protection” and made them part of my life. But not anymore!

How do I overcome negativity?

I don’t claim to have the answers to everything. Hey, I’m just a woman who is learning how to let go and let God. But I do know that I want to have a pure heart for God, and this begins by recognizing the areas where I fall short, so He can come in and change it.

So, I just want to share a few things that I will do to help me overcome negative thinking:

- Acknowledge my thoughts and take hold of them.

- Bring those thoughts to the Lord and allow Him to shed light on them. He will guide me on how to deal with them and He will bring to my remembrance what He has said.

- Read the Word of God and meditate on it day and night. (Joshua 1:8).

The Word of God has cleansing, healing properties. It can open your eyes to the truth and help you renew your mind.

- Surround myself with more optimistic people who encourage me and speak life.

- Be thankful and speak it out. A heart of gratitude is cultivated by acknowledging every day everything we’re thankful for; doing this brings joy and the right perspective to life.

“But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment. For by your words, you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” (Matthew 12:36-37)